Because of how my brain works, I do not understand myself as a syllable, just as a process. The person looking at me from the mirror is a stranger tomorrow. I know more strangers than these people. Even more – I. He can’t be in the face. From my childhood, I have really seen my legs.
The body is easy. It’s not me – it’s mine. And I like it. I like everything that is mine.
In fact, this is my self -portrait in the Chat GPT version. I uploaded my old oil painting – which I once scratched with a palette knife, because I couldn’t afford to see my face.
This is my face. Why do I believe it is mine? In the surviving pieces, there is some similarities that I remember seeing in the mirror more than thirty years ago. If I look closely, I can now match what I am seeing in the mirror. But the difference hurts me.
Still, I know myself. Especially since I remember painting this mirror with a reflection… Wait, in which apartment, in front of which mirror? When did this happen exactly? That I don’t remember anymore. I changed where I lived five times two years ago. So, it turns out, it’s enough to remember that I painted it – but not necessarily.
This is regrettable. I don’t remember how I painted it – because it was an important moment in my inner life. This is the only self -portrait in which I painted my face. This is more disturbing than the changes in the mirror.
Is that really enough? So I uploaded my self -portrait to Chat GPT and asked what he sees. He said it looks like a face. He was not sure.
Boot Kunda offered me to “restore” it. Well, that is, “restored.” The window also looks like an oil. Why is the boot so sure it is the same face? I don’t see the match. However, I scolded the face painted from the mirror, because it was difficult to think that I was.
Well, then, I don’t mind, I don’t mind – let it become a picture of my inner essence. I do not refrain from trying to see myself in it.
My inner essence, my true self, break the truth – but not the truth – portrait.
In fact, I am ready to see myself on another face. I identify it with the purpose of the impression, to dissolve it. I don’t know how to keep the proper distance.
This photo was not made for a picture – it was for a background. I start with beautiful foundations and then I try to find out what to put on them. My purpose is not to reflect beautiful women.
A friend said he saw my older daughter in it. My daughter is a beautiful woman. And she meets me. But what did my friend see him in this picture?
Well, okay. I’m ready to see it in this picture too. Especially since she is really beautiful. For a moment I even believed that this was a picture of it. But only for a moment. I remember this icon is based on my self -portrait that was painted thirty years ago.
Yet I don’t see myself in it. Basically because portrait is an uncertain woman. I am confident that I can’t.
And I didn’t even make any drastic changes. I did not give a new shape to the nose, did not expand the eyes – just blurred the picture, deepened the shadow. So technically, this is the same face as is in the portrait made. It’s artificial. Even if anyone is forced to see the example of anyone in it?
Probably the reason is that it is a single, only face.
And here, it is still the same face. As if at a strange angle, photo prints are from a wall. Because the image is fixed from the same background, the same palette. We have long been accustomed to seeing many pictures of the same face. I was not even intending to photo – it was just a formal experience.
But here, it is no longer the same face. Now he is a man. Although I did not make any changes – just cut the bright side and deepened the shadow. I was listening to Rao Alejandro while working on it. Not everyone saw a man in this picture – maybe they listened to a female singer looking at her.
And these shining ghosts – anyway, are the same face – but they are no longer identified as people. They have become a symbol. However, formally, this is clearly the same icon, which has been copied several times. Once again, I had no intention of making some symbolic, though I knew it might be read like this.
And they are all the same face. Only now the crowd is shown, and so the eye tries to find differences. Only the differences are in the scale and the point of view. I just increased the image in space.
Or maybe it’s all I’m still?
This is a quote from my yet unpublished novel Time and space. Although this novel is automatic, this oral image is completely unrealistic.
“I will try to describe my appearance in the third person. The appearance of the person I see in the mirror.
Therefore, Iya is a long -legged, thin 52 -year -old woman. Its hips and shoulders are almost the same. Its chest is a standard size. She cuts her thin, half-gray hair in a short, masculine way, but rarely-once in six months, taking advantage of the privilege of women to cut hair once.
It has a long face with submerged cheeks, slightly stuck on the temples, and a little nasty: on the right look a bit unconscious, the right corner of her lips is less than the left (I have a weak sensation in the area of ​​the lip and on the right side of my face).
Its light eyes, sometimes blue, sometimes brown, eyelids, neither are nor large or small. His forehead is high. There are wrinkles around her mouth – two to the right, one left side – and even the cloak between her eyebrows. She prefers to wear clothes in a jockey or semi -military manner.
Iya’s personality androgynous; She knows it and sometimes likes to wear men’s clothes. She takes them from the cabinets of her big sons who have gone abroad. Iya likes men, and that’s why she wants to resemble them. She recognizes herself for the purpose of her impressions … I identify myself for the purpose of knowledge, dissolving it, and I do not know that the right distance is to be maintained.
Generally, I am separated, but sometimes I get excited and become aware and familiar. Sometimes this causes misunderstandings between me and the person I am talking about. But I control my voice and if I wish, play with the tone and deployment. I can put a person in open pin. »
And this is a picture of Iya, which is developed by AI:
